Patty Brisben

All posts tagged Patty Brisben

A Woman’s Right to Self Respect

Published October 24, 2011 by Patty Brisben

A week from today marks one of the most fun holidays of the year, Halloween. It’s our one chance a year to lighten up, let go, and dress up as someone we’re not, someone we admire, someone we think is hilarious, or someone who is from an era we love. Have you ever noticed when you’re dressed up at Halloween as something interesting there is no judgment? Isn’t that a wonderful thing? But on this day a year, we all open our minds a bit. But I have one little bone to pick.

For some reason, on this very day, I can’t help but still think, “What are you wearing?” when I see the way some women are dressed—or not dressed. The trend of wearing next to nothing on Halloween continues to grow. My career has been based around helping women get their sexy back, so I absolutely understand the need to feel sexy, wanted, and powerful. However, when you are within the confines of your home, you can wear whatever you want to wear (or don’t want to wear). When you’re in public, though, it’s a different case.

As I watch the years tick by, young women become more and more revealed at younger ages, and it’s startling. The way I see some women in their late teens and early 20s dress at Halloween makes me shake my head, and those costumes are nothing I’d ever want my granddaughters to see. Unfortunately, it might be a little too late for such sentiments.

The trend of young women dressing up provocatively at Halloween has been so popular that it’s now trickling down to children’s costume offerings. A website with inappropriate kids’ costumes was recently brought to my attention. Sure, some can be interpreted as innocent, but I know the origin of such costumes. They started off as “sultry” and “sexy” adult costumes, and now minis are being produced.

What does this say to young girls? That in order to be normal or fit in they must wear short skirts, belly-revealing tops, and corset-clad dresses? That in order to enjoy a holiday, this is the way to dress? As a parent and grandparent, I’ve seen the pressure kids feel from other kids and the urge they have to get a store-bought costume. I truly do not believe kids should be dressing this way, and it’s distressing to think that these are now the options. It’s even more troubling to think about how dressing this way at a young age could affect a girl for years to come.

As a woman who might be reading this, I ask you to have some self-respect when you dress up for Halloween. Try something fresh and new that makes people say, “What a great costume! Why didn’t I think of that?” Try something that would make people of all ages smile. Whatever you do, please leave the lingerie at home…or at least smartly hidden beneath your costume. Wouldn’t that be a nice treat?

A Woman’s Right to Health

Published October 10, 2011 by Patty Brisben

This month brings three dates that bring to mind some of the strides women have made throughout history. Women now have rights women of the past had only dreamed of. All too often, we take for granted the gifts we’ve been given, and adversely, we sometimes forget to demand for something more. In my October series, I hope you see some of the rights women have in a new light. 

Question: What’s more pink than Valentine’s Day and the Pure Romance Corporate offices combined?
Answer: October.

Why? As you probably know already, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you take a look around Target, Walmart, or Macy’s, chances are that you’ll see makeup, boxes of crackers, golf clubs, and hairspray that are dusted in pink and have that iconic ribbon on them.

Breast cancer, which will affect about one in eight women in the United States, has become all too familiar anymore. The fact that it is so prevalent is unavoidable and disheartening. It has become a part of our daily conversation, not just October’s conversation. For me personally, I always feel moved to find a cure, and with the Patty Brisben Foundation for Women’s Sexual Health, we fund important research in the four pillars of the PBF: vulvovaginal pain disorder, pre-menopause and menopause, libido, and sexual dysfunction after cancer therapy.

What Breast Cancer Awareness Month proves is that women are being heard, loud and clear. As women, we have a right to be aware of our health. Additionally, we have a right to take care of our health. We tend to struggle with the idea that we deserve time to take care of ourselves, but ladies, we must. It’s easy to think that if you use an hour of your day to work out, you’re taking time away from your family. I have to tell you—the exact opposite is true. When you take an hour to benefit your health, not only are you adding onto your own life, you’re also setting a great example for your whole family. You’ll be there longer for them when you take care of yourself.

This month, I’d like women to focus on their own health. Here is exactly what I mean by that:

1. Go to the doctor when something is off. No one knows your body better than you do; when something isn’t quite right, you know it. Don’t waste time trying to figure it out on your own. Seek medical attention as soon as you can. Even though this may seem like an overreaction at first, don’t see it that way. This is your health—it can’t be taken for granted.

2. Eat right. Eating right is very individual to the woman. We all have various intolerances and preferences. If you need help building a healthy eating regimen, set up an appointment with a nutritionist. It takes just one meeting to gain an understanding of what kind of eating will suit your needs.

3. Make time to exercise. Most personal trainers will tell you to work out five to six days a week. Don’t feel bad if you miss one workout—something is better than nothing sometimes! Not sure of what types of workouts you should be doing? Get a membership to a gym to try out different classes, meet with a personal trainer, or feel it out for yourself. You won’t know until you try!

4. Take a time out for mental health. Never feel guilty for taking a moment for yourself. Whether that’s a half hour watching your favorite TV show or reflecting on your day, give your brain a break. Breathe and release the stress.

5. Spend time with the people you love. This is the secret to excellent mental health. We get so caught up in things that we “need” to do that we forget to stop and enjoy the people we love the most. Have a romantic night with your partner, spend a Friday night out with your girlfriends, have a nice dinner with your parents. Trust me, it’s worth it.

Breast cancer is taking a toll on women at younger ages every year. This October, honor the cause, your body, and your family by taking care of yourself and being mindful of your health.

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Sexy Ever After: Intimacy Post-Cancer

Published October 3, 2011 by Patty Brisben

The start of October means more to me this year than ever before. Instead of simply celebrating the season, I’m celebrating the launch of a labor of love: Dr. Keri Peterson ‘s and my new e-book, “Sexy Ever After: Intimacy Post-Cancer”. And what better time to launch than during Breast Cancer Awareness month?

My greatest passion is helping women in any capacity that I can. I’ve been fortunate enough to channel that through Pure Romance, the Patty Brisben Foundation for Women’s Sexual Health, and through speaking engagements. Now, I have the opportunity to help women through a downloadable e-book that focuses on health problems that millions of women face every year: sexual dysfunction post-cancer. For years I’ve wanted to do something, as the Patty Brisben Foundation funded the largest study to date on young survivors of breast cancer. It found that 95 percent indicated that cancer had adversely affected their sexuality.

This number was unsettling, and ignoring it was something I could not do. With the information gathered and the inspiration of effected women, Dr. Keri Peterson and I started writing an e-book for how couples can overcome the impact cancer has on their ability to be intimate. I wanted to show people that it is possible to enjoy sex again, despite the obstacles.

“Sexy Ever After: Intimacy Post-Cancer” will not only help breathe new life into sex after cancer, it will help couples redefine sex. The e-book explores the most common types of cancer for both men and women; how these cancers affect intimacy after cancer; common symptoms men and women experience and step-by-step instructions on how to manage them; tips for living your best life with your partner (in and out of the bedroom!); and questions to ask your doctors, specialists, partners, and yourself.

I urge you to take a look at the e-book and share it with those close to you who have been affected by cancer. “Sexy Ever After: Intimacy Post-Cancer” is available at Amazon Kindle, Apple iBooks, Barnes & Noble NOOK, Kobo, and goodinbed.com. As my gift to you, for the month of October, you can download it from pureromance.com for free.

 

No More Double Standards: The Golden Rule

Published September 22, 2011 by Patty Brisben

This post is the second part in my September series, Modern Manners. To see the first post of the series, click here.

Perhaps you were in church, elementary school, or college when you first heard about the Golden Rule. It goes something like this:

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

We were taught this ever-important rule to help us understand that we need to treat strangers, fellow students, and neighbors with kindness. Fast-forward to today. Do you think about this phrase that often? Chances are you don’t, as it has become a part of you.

What your pastor and your third-grade teacher never taught you, though, is that the Golden Rule can and should be applied to your romantic relationships, too.

Sometimes when we’re wrapped up in a relationship, we expect everything from our partner. We expect him to be good, to never flirt with another woman, and to only have eyes for us—and it should be this way! However, you have to be sure you’re holding yourself to the same standards. What you want from your partner is probably what your partner wants from you, too.

Women often turn to me with their relationship hiccups, and I love listening. Everyone has her individual story, but more often than not, I end up telling most women I speak with to do one thing: reflect upon yourself. What is your behavior like? What do you want? How do you really feel? These questions are important because they force the woman to take a deeper look into her own behaviors. If you think about it, it’s also a part of the Golden Rule. How do you want to be treated, and thereby, how will you treat your partner?

Lately, I’ve seen women behave in ways I’m fairly certain they wouldn’t be happy with if their partner were doing the same. Before you act on something, I urge you to ask yourself this: “If my partner were in this situation, would I be happy if he did it?” If the answer is no, don’t do it. If it helps you to write or type it out, try it. Your questions may look something like this:

Would I be happy if my man were dancing with a strange woman? Probably not. Therefore, don’t do it.

Would I be happy if my man took hours to respond to a text or phone call? No. Therefore, don’t do it.

Would I be happy if my man posed for pictures with random women and then I saw them on Facebook? Definitely not! Therefore, don’t do it.

It’s a very simple exercise that puts the Golden Rule into practice and gives your relationship a little perspective. Remember that a relationship takes two: you both have to work at it. You can’t expect him to be receptive if you aren’t willing to make changes and work on yourself, too. Give and take, take and give. Just remember, treat your partner the way you want to be treated, and behave the way you want your partner to act as well.

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Dirty Mouth? Clean It Up: Profanity and Vulgarity

Published September 14, 2011 by Patty Brisben

For students around the globe, September means back to school. Girls and boys ages 4 to 21 (and beyond!) trade in swimming and sunning for mathematics, language arts, history, chemistry and every variant in between. During this new school year, kids better themselves in skills that will help them in all aspects of their lives, from future careers to personal lives. They learn something new every week, if not every day.

A lot of us thought that once we had graduated high school or college, we were done. I think, though, that there’s something as women that we need to develop. Simply put, we could all work on our manners. Decades ago, women went to specific schools for this very subject. Many of us still look up to women of that era, such as Grace Kelly and Aubrey Hepburn. We look to their poise and elegance for inspiration, because they were real ladies.

That’s why all my posts for September will be dedicated to a grown woman’s version of back-to-school lessons. I’ll be focusing on modern manners and how a woman can return to a state of grace, instead of disgrace.

Today, I’d like to discuss something we all face every single day. It may seem small, but it affects the way you’re perceived greatly.

In 2011, I never thought we’d be living in an era that loves to swear. There’s a reason those Orbit gum commercials are memorable! We all have dirty mouths, and we do need to clean them up.

Profanity is so overused now that we’ve all become somewhat desensitized to it—we are immune to such vulgarity. The power of “the S-word” and “the F-word” doesn’t exactly have the zing it once had. It’s now just started to sound unintelligent. Profanity fills the holes in which a smarter, more powerful word combination could be used. Swearing no longer riles people up; it’s just started to sound silly.

Why has there been such a desensitization of curse words? Because they’re everywhere. You can’t watch a show on cable without cursing being used for cheap laughs and fake shock and awe. Pop music is suffering an infestation as well. When the musicians appear on television shows for live performances, songs have to be bleeped to the point where you can’t hear a melody. It’s become the norm.

Unfortunately, if you’re not an actress or pop performer, cursing simply isn’t attractive. People will not value your opinions when they’re studded with swears. Others will not see you as attractive because of your over-the-top profane use of language. If you think swearing will get you the attention and respect you deserve, think again.

We’re all guilty of getting heated and using iffy language. However, there are three places in which you should heed caution when it comes to what’s flying out of your mouth:

1. The workplace. Every office is different, but if you want to make the greatest impression, keep your conversations clean. Your statements will have a greater impact when you speak wisely, especially when you think you aren’t being listened to. I guarantee you—someone is listening.

2. In public. Walking around the mall, waiting in a movie theater, strolling the aisles of a grocery store, chatting over dinner—these are all settings in which someone, you don’t want to hear your profanity (such as a child) may, in fact, hear the dirty words that are coming out of your mouth.

3. On the Internet. Whether it’s Facebook or Twitter, a relative, boss, or friend’s impressionable daughter will see your status. Think about the kind of impression you want to have on others. Yes, I understand that your Facebook page should contain whatever your heart desires, but if you want your relatives not to be startled, your boss to be impressed, and your sister’s impressionable daughter to respect you, you have to clean it up a bit. Try and keep this in mind: if you wouldn’t want your grandmother reading it, don’t post it.

This culture of profanity has gotten the best of us all at some point, but challenge yourself to tidy up your language a little. What would really blow people’s minds is if you didn’t swear at all and you invented your own forms of letting out your emotions. Take a cue from the Orbit commercial the next time you’re frustrated with something and say, “What the French, toast?” I’m sure you’ll burst out in laughter and any frustrations will be momentarily eased. Hey, it’s a start!

Rolling with the Punches

Published August 31, 2011 by Patty Brisben

On August 25, a handful of Consultants and I traveled to a city I love dearly. It’s one of the few places in the world where you can feel the pulse of the whole city as soon as you step foot in its concrete jungle. I’ve visited time and time again, and I couldn’t wait to share it with leaders and up-and-comers of Pure Romance. Our destination? New York City, the hub of all things fabulous and cutting edge.

When we all first landed in New York, we enjoyed as much of it as we could. But Mother Nature had something else in store. Hurricane Irene was rapidly making her way up the East Coast, turning this vibrant city to panic mode. Stores were being boarded and all transportation modes were to be shut down. Being the mother that I am, my instant concern was keeping everyone safe. I booked a flight for the Pure Romance women and I to fly out of New York and into Cincinnati.

As I was telling the Consultants about our sudden but necessary change in plans, I feared that I’d experience resistance and disappointment from the ladies. What I was met with, instead, was a group of women who looked toward the positive—their glasses were more than half full. They chose to see this Plan B as a bonding experience, and they still took advantage of the time we had together.

Upon our arrival to Cincinnati, some women pampered themselves with facial masks, some went shopping, and all relished the time they had to chat with their sister Consultants. We all had a wonderful time one night and went to a hometown, family favorite of mine for dinner, Carlo and Johnny. We laughed and swapped stories as we dined on the restaurant’s specialties.

At the end of the trip, I couldn’t help but feel blessed to be surrounded by such positive forces as these women. Who better to be with in a time of near crisis and resulting change of plans than women who turn lemons into lemonade instead of complaining? Their strength is in rolling with the punches. This flexibility not only benefits the woman herself, but her business as well. It allows her to handle difficult customers with grace. It allows her to manage her emotions when something goes awry with a shipment. It allows her to fix whatever she needs to fix in order to move forward.

This ability to roll with the punches and be flexible is why every woman on the trip is a leader. I was honored to have spent such an invigorating time with them. Though we didn’t get to spend our entire trip in New York City, it’s certainly a trip I’ll never forget!

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Transformative Power of Beauty and Lingerie

Published August 29, 2011 by Patty Brisben

A little over a week ago, I stood on the stage of the Aronoff Center’s P&G Hall to launch Pure Romance’s newest additions to its line. As I stood onstage, I looked out into a thrilled audience. Their excitement made it clear: the additions, particularly to our beauty and lingerie collections, were items the women had been waiting for.

At Pure Romance, we focus on all aspects of a woman. We help empower them financially by giving them a way to support themselves and their families. We also educate, ensuring that our Consultants are well versed in sexual health. Now, we’re focusing even more on making a woman feel strong and confident from the inside out by adding to our beauty and lingerie collections. We’re truly investing into our consumers and completing the woman as a whole. Beauty and lingerie are the final touches.

By adding Bedroom Eyes, our mascaras, and Scentuality, our perfume sticks, to our extensive line of lip glosses, lipstick, and bronzers, we are giving women permission to take time solely for themselves. When a woman gets ready for the day, it’s not about her children, and it’s not about whom she’s going to see today; it’s about her. To every woman reading, I encourage you to allow yourself some time every day—even if it’s just five minutes—to have alone time in the bathroom to prep yourself for whatever lies ahead of you.

During this special “you” time, notice how you transform from feeling tired to feeling rejuvenated. All it takes: a slick of gloss, a brush of bronzer, a swipe of mascara, and a dab of your favorite scent. What I want with Pure Romance’s beauty line is for it to simplify your beautifying process. I’ve elected the best of the best so that a woman isn’t wasting her precious time or money on products she has to spend forever applying or fixing.

No woman should ever feel guilty about taking just five minutes to herself. And you know what? No woman should ever feel guilty for admitting that makeup helps her feel more confident. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. When you work on yourself from every angle—financially, physically, spiritually, mentally—it wouldn’t make sense not to want to pretty up the outside as well! Everyone—from models to moms—can recognize the added oomph a little makeup adds to how one feels about herself.

Speaking of models, we had 11 of them walk in a surprise lingerie runway show at the end of the launch. The models walked across the stage, embracing the characters the lingerie imbued within them. There was Mickey’s Mistress, Officer Flashy, Major Trouble, and Miss Bunny Boom, to name a few. With these pieces of lingerie, I was adamant about finding the highest quality in materials, and I also wanted something that put fun back in the bedroom.

What’s also great about every single lingerie item is that they allow women to play a character, not just play “sexy.” For example, Major Trouble can salute her man or march around the bedroom at his command—or her command. Miss Bunny Boom can coyly deliver Manhattans to her partner, just as certain bunnies from the 1960’s did. Couples can really play specific roles and be inspired by the lingerie.

Fall’s product launch comes down to the transformative power of makeup and lingerie. Slip it on and transform into a more confident, more sensual version of yourself. So go into your bathroom or boudoir, turn on the music that makes you feel fierce, swipe on some mascara and dab on some Scentuality, and be ready to take on anything the world throws at you. You’ve done the groundwork by fine-tuning yourself from the inside out—it’s time to enjoy it now!

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