“I’m not in the mood.”
“I have a headache.”
“I’m too busy.”
These are just a few examples of the roadblocks that get in the way of really great foreplay (and what foreplay leads to). I get it; I really do. A lot of the time, one if not all of those instances are true. But letting these things stop you from having the vivacious, active, healthy sex life that you’re capable of having isn’t worth it. Why stop yourself from having fun and feeling good? All you need is a little foreplay to get turned on.
Foreplay, in a sense, is like stopping to smell the roses. Or better yet, it’s like enjoying the best meal of your life. Sure, the end goal is to feel fulfilled (in sexual terms, this would be the orgasm), but what is satisfaction without tasting and enjoying the flavors along the way? Foreplay is your chance to do just that. Here are my tips on how to get in the mood and get turned on!
1. Free your mind. Stop stressing about your day, running through your to-do list, and worrying about everything but you. Your time with your partner is your time to play and have fun. Let go of the day and give in to the moment. Your partner will notice a difference, too.
2. Talk about sex, baby. As unsexy as scheduling sounds, planning a night of romance with your partner can amp up anticipation and excitement. According to author Ian Kerner, “talking about sex and sharing a sexy thought is foreplay.” Drop each other flirty texts throughout the day preluding your evening of fun in the sheets.
3. Keep your eyes on the prize. Ultimately, what you’re attracted to is your partner. Watching them and paying special attention to those parts you love the most can visually turn you on. Costumes and lingerie never hurt anyone, either, so if you’ve fantasized about seeing your partner in a special something, there’s no better time than the present!
4. Use the power of touch. I’ve said it before, but caressing and massaging your partner (and receiving in return) can ignite the passion and send chills up your spine. Show your partner your most sensitive areas of skin and have them kiss, blow, or even use an Ice Breaker or Tickle & Whip to excite you.
5. Just do it. Nike has it right. Even when we don’t feel like it, sometimes after we’ve started the motions, our bodies and brains synch up. We become excited, impassioned, and we start feeling sexy and in it to win it. I have a friend who made a pact with her husband to have sex every single night for a month, in efforts to rejuvenate their sex life. Every night, they stuck to their pact. Some nights they weren’t in the mood whatsoever, but did it anyway. By the end of the month, she told me their sex life had never been better.
Foreplay should be seen as frisky fun—never a chore. Start treating it this way, and I’ll bet you’ll see a change for the better in your bedroom!