I recently had the pleasure of meeting a lovely older couple on a plane. After a few minutes of small talk they informed me that they were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and launched into an intriguing story of how they first met. Have you ever noticed how, barring the occasional “we met on the internet”, every couple usually has a magical story of when they first met? There’s a certain glow that people share as they recall every single juicy detail. It’s not surprising considering that this is when our emotions and hormones were at their highest peak; however, it’s the stories that emerge throughout the course of the relationship that hold just as much importance. What about the “middle story” – the “five-ten-15 year story”?
Couples should take time to think about the memories and experiences they’ve shared along the way and discuss them with just as much excitement and fervor. Think about what you’re passionate about when it comes to you partner today, not just when you first came together. Being able to verbalize this to other people further solidifies the connection you have with your significant other both in heart and mind.
If you really want to take this approach to the next level make a list of your top 20 memories with your loved one, whether it’s as big as a vacation to another country or as small as cooking a meal together on a rainy afternoon. If you are a visual person, create a scrapbook surrounding each of these stories complete with photos or magazine cut outs to represent each experience. Don’t stop there; add to this book as the relationship grows and refer back to it often. This is a great way to strengthen your bond and remember why you are still together today.
So the next time someone asks you how you and your partner met, conclude the story with why you are with them today. You will be surprised how this can change the dynamic of your relationship, reinforce your bond and transform the ‘how’ you were brought together into ‘why” you are a couple now.