One of my good friends is an avid fan of Esquire magazine and handed me an article the other day that I found pretty interesting. The feature, entitled, “I Think I Love My Wife: An Investigative Report”, talked about the latest attempts of science to break down concepts of love, romance and sex through technology like MRI’s and brain scans.
While very intriguing, there’s still so much to be said for good old fashioned choices and effort when it comes to romance and intimacy. Do we really want to wake up one day and blame failed relationships or lagging sex lives on chemicals or simply “bad genes” that are “beyond our control”? I’m going to venture not. While those factors can play a role in our intimate life, I believe each individual has to take the time to choose behaviors and attitudes that promote their wellbeing as a couple; it’s easy to make excuses when a relationship gets tough, but it’s how we take responsibility for our actions and how we choose to respond to it that can make or break a relationship in the end.
While falling in love can be an amazing and grand experience, it can sometimes blind you to the hard work that goes into maintaining a loving relationship down the road (when some of those euphoric feelings begin to naturally wane). This can be one of the most challenging times in a relationship because it’s when you realize that love’s not just a feeling that you “fall into”, but that love is also a choice. Below are some behaviors that you can choose as a couple to help you navigate your way through the storms that are inevitably going to hit you throughout the years.
Choose to Love. As I mentioned earlier, love is a choice that two people make to treat one another with respect, affection and support. Often times people forget this simple principle and begin to take one another for granted. When you find yourself in a challenging situation with your partner, always choose to approach it with love.
Choose to Remember. Many people begin to take one another for granted because they forget to take time to remember and appreciate what attracted them to their partner in the first place. Take time out of your day or week to reflect on the earlier times when you first fell in love and stir up some of those feelings. Like embers in a flame, they can always be rekindled.
Choose to Be Positive. Choosing a positive attitude can transform the way you and your partner communicate with one another. It can also attract positive outcomes because the energy you are putting out is one that is focused on the good of all involved.
Choose to Stay True. Infidelity can be destructive to a relationship, with many of them failing to survive indiscretions altogether. The grass is always greener on the other side, and nine times out of ten the decision to stray from a committed relationship will not end positively. Treat your partner with respect. Even if you have decided the relationship has run its course, give them the respect of having that conversation prior to stepping outside the relationship/marriage.
Choose to Grow. No one understands this better than Pure Romance! It’s so important to try new things and keep your relationship fresh, both in and out of the bedroom! We carry a whole line of products from pampering and massage and bath items to bedroom toys and games which enhance communication. Take advantage of these resources and remember, you both have the power to keep things from becoming stagnant.
Choose to Let Go. Try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and let go of past grievances when you choose to forgive. Also, don’t grasp your partner too tightly! You are both independent individuals and should have the freedom to grow within the relationship, and together as a couple.