This time of year can often bring a lot of joy to couples, as well as a lot of added stress. As I prepare for family get-togethers, parties and social outings, I often have women ask me why “they just aren’t in the mood?” Even if they say they have previously had a high sex drive or no problems in the past, certain times of year (especially around stressful times like the holidays) can have an impact on your libido.
In my book, Pure Romance Between the Sheets, I tackle many difficult topics, such as overcoming the impact life can have on your sex drive. I explain to women that your intimate life can be a lot like a rollercoaster. It can have its peaks, but it can also have its dips. Our society often confuses the definition of love, intimacy and sex, and furthermore, draws a conclusion that you must have one to have the other.
Well, often times this just isn’t the case. Although the women I have met still profess their love to their partners, it is often hard to find time to engage in passionate sex, or even just sex at all when you have holiday parties, presents to buy and wrap, kids to take care of, laundry to do and not enough energy to do one more thing. But the fact of the matter is that you are the master of your own fate, and it’s time you found the energy to put into your intimate relationship with your partner for them and for you.
My first suggestion to always to talk to your partner. Communication is the key to happiness. Since most of us sometimes forget the basics in communication, play a game. We have several games, such as 52 Weeks of Naughty Nights that can help you open up the lines of communication and get you passionate again. Chances are if you have lost communication in the bedroom, you have probably lost touch with it in other aspects of your life. You might be surprised at how receptive your partner is to your concerns. Just think – they are probably as eager as you are to nip this in the bud!
After you talk to your partner, I always recommend trying to make an effort to reconnect with them emotionally. Find out what’s going on in their life. Ask them to recall their favorite holiday memory. Just set aside time each day to just talk. Once you have reconnected emotionally, it will be much easier to start the process to reconnect physically.
For couples who are ready to be intimate on a more physical level, I would recommend using one of our arousal creams like Ex-T-Cee or X-Scream. You will place a small pea-sized amount on your clitoris a few minutes before intercourse. It causes the blood to rush to that area creating a heightened sensitivity. It allows your brain to forget everything else and focus on what feels good and allow you to act on it. Don’t forget your mild lubricant, such as Just Like Me or Sweet Seduction!
Just remember to place your focus on the intimate aspects of your relationship, such as communication, massage, hugging and cuddling and put your mind on the most important thing, each other.