Between The Sheets

Today is the first day of Pure Romance’s Valentine’s Day Sale which runs through February 14th, from 10am to 8pm, daily. Although it’s our 17th annual sale with Pure Romance, I actually launched my first sale as a consultant with a company called Fun Parties back in the early 80s. At the time, I was in the top five in sales and recruiting and was one of the only consultants in the Cincinnati area offering this safe environment for women. With so many women looking for answers regarding their intimate relationships and health in the tri-state area, you can imagine I was in quite the demand! When it came to the relationship enhancement industry I was somewhat of a “lone ranger” and when you think of those early days, I truly was pioneering a new territory in women’s sexual health and relationships. My calendar was often booked up with customers requesting parties with me two to three months out and when Valentine’s Day would roll around many of them were unfortunately left out.

That’s when I decided that this would be the one time of the year where I would have an Open House (my first was actually at a Holiday Inn Conference Room) where all of my customers could come and shop and ask questions without having to book a party with me. This started a long tradition which began with just a couple hundred attendees to over 10,000 people walking through our door today!

This year offers a new twist – we now have Spanish bilingual corporate representatives on hand to answer any questions Spanish-speaking customers may have! We’ll have many special Valentine’s Day packages with collections of some of our top-sellers at discounted prices. See below for Romancing the Stone,which retails at $51.50 and is on sale for $45

Click here to see all of our specials. We look forward to seeing all of you there!

I recently took some down-time and invited some extended family to spend some time with me. During our trip, one of my guests shared that she had a close friend whose husband had just suddenly died of cancer. This got us talking about the difficulties and hardships people experience in life and how intimacy often understandably comes to a screeching halt. This could be a death of a close partner or a terrible break-up (which, let’s face it, sometimes feels just like mourning a death).

Bedroom accessories are not just for novelty or spicing up relationships. They can also be a wonderful tool for someone who has just lost a partner through death, divorce or a break-up and can keep you from falling into the all too easy trap of the “Rebound”. After all, how many of us have heard of the saying that “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”. So often people jump into new relationships because they miss the intimacy they have lost. But they are doing themselves a major injustice. This should be a time that you are working on yourself and figuring out what went wrong and what you can do to grow from the experience and change for the better. It may be tempting to grab the first attractive person off the street to meet your intimate needs, but it’s important to take time to heal.

Just because you are taking time to yourself to discover your needs doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have intimacy in your life. This is where bedroom accessories can be a wonderful way to still have intimacy and sensual pleasure in your life. It also keeps you from getting caught up in a whirlwind of partners which sends mixed messages and messes with your head. It’s hard for many women to truly be detached when it comes to casual sex and makes you feel even worse afterwards if you aren’t completely emotionally stable. Even worse, it opens you up to the risk of Sexually Transmitted Infections (even with the use of condoms). Your body should mean more to you than that.

For those of you who had the pleasure of watching one of my favorite movies, It’s Complicated, you probably remember the scene where Meryl Streep’s character is catching up with friends and one says she heard that “if you don’t use it, you lose it”. There actually is truth to this statement and many healthcare providers recommend bedroom accessories and Dilator Sets as a way to combat vaginal atrophy, which is another reason why it’s important to use toys when you don’t currently have a partner.

I know many of you have heard me say a thousand times how important it is to stay a student, but I will say it again, when you think you know everything, that’s when you are only setting yourself up for failure. Every day I strive to learn something new and at Pure Romance we are always offering events, contests and trips that give Consultants the opportunity to do the same.

Most recently, Pure Romance just hosted a Consultant Incentive Trip in Naples, Florida, which focused on rewarding some of our up-and-coming Consultants. The company has five tiers or levels that Consultants strive to reach when building their business, and for this trip, we concentrated on the first two levels. There were some women who were brand new to the business and hungry to grow, while others had been with Pure Romance for years, and saw this as an opportunity to take their business to the next level.

I was so impressed by their drive and determination to soak up as much information as possible. It was a diverse group hailing from all over the US and on the first day of the trip they were understandably sitting back safely in their own worlds; however, by the end of the trip they were a close-knit group, networking with one another and building strong friendships and camaraderie that will no doubt last long after the trip has ended.

Pure Romance is very much like a family and as the parent company to our Consultants, we are committed to finding ways to make their businesses easier for them. This is part of the reason we love to bring the Consultants together so they can take away techniques and skills from one another that they may have never thought of before. The ultimate goal is to build teamwork and a support system that extends further than just their Pure Romance business.

I especially love our incentive trips because it gives me one-on-one time with our representatives and I enjoy getting the opportunity to get to know them better. We had several dinners where they were able to go straight to the source on some of their most important business-building questions and just share a little information about who they are, why they love what they do and how Pure Romance has changed their lives. We couldn’t be more grateful for our 40,000 plus Consultants and as long as we are in business they will always be our first utmost priority.

I recently read an interesting article on CNN.com called New Year’s Resolution: Have More Sex. The article was written by a CNN Senior Medical Correspondent and I loved that it highlighted the health benefits of having an active sex life. So many people still stigmatize those who are comfortable with their sexuality and even have trouble saying the “S” word in public.

In addition to the health benefits, a healthy sex life can also bring couples closer. Many of you might remember the case of the Texas Minister who encouraged his congregation to have sex every night until they met again that next Sunday. The lesson was simple: pay attention and commit to the importance of intimacy in your relationship with your partner. They interviewed the couples after the minister’s challenge, and many of the couples talked about the closeness and enhanced bond that was fostered immediately afterward.

You have to start somewhere when it comes to getting the intimacy you deserve so why not start fresh with the New Year! It’s a great time to begin making the changes necessary to work on your relationship – especially for those who live in colder climates and are off snuggling under the covers!

Below is a list of even more reasons to make sex a priority in your relationship in 2010:

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make
love they produce increased amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

2. Gentle, relaxed love-making reduces your chances of suffering
dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the
pores and makes your skin glow.

3. Love-making can burn up those calories you piled on during that
romantic dinner.

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and
tones just about every muscle in the body. It’s more enjoyable than
swimming 20 laps, and you don’t need special sneakers!

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins
into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with
a feeling of well-being.

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually
active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called
pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world.

8. Smooch while in the sack. Kissing encourages saliva
to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes
decay, preventing plaque build-up.

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A love-making session can release the
tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

10. A lot of love-making can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural
antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

I made a New Year’s resolution to face my challenges head on this month. People face challenges every day, especially when it comes to their most intimate relationships. Just because you have that wonderful marriage license (tucked away with the hundreds of wedding photos that seem to magically disappear after the 3rd year of marriage), doesn’t mean everything is just going to fall into place. So many people wake up after one, ten, twenty years of marriage wondering … “What in the world did I get myself into?” Whether they rushed to get married at a young age or they felt the pressures of society after dating for several years, everyone has a story.

Just like your job, you have to work to maintain a healthy, mutually-beneficial relationship. I so often say, you spend money and time maintaining your cars and home, yet, when is the last time you put that much effort into maintaining your relationship?

Do you ever drive to work and not remember driving there? The same thing can happen in your relationship. You go through the motions but the spark seems to burn further and further away. You wake up and begin each day, getting the kids ready for school, making breakfast, driving them to school, going to work, picking them up from school, taking them to soccer practice, making dinner, doing homework, folding laundry, (I am exhausted just going through the list) and then at the very end of the day, as you rejoice when your head hits the pillow, it is then that you are “supposed” to be ready to get intimate! As time passes, you are faced with more and more demands on your time and energy and eventually that intimate relationship becomes just another thing on the To-Do list!

On page 217 of my book, I discuss a variety of techniques that a couple can incorporate to deepen their connection and to keep the rushes of daily life separate from your intimacy. The Calendar of Connections provides a month-to-month guide to help you and your partner stay in touch both emotionally and physically! What better place to start but then with January!

January – Start Something New: A Journal
“Use the arrival of a new calendar year to begin keeping a diary or journal, something many of us have done at least one time in our lives. Keeping a relationship journal is one way to express your feelings about your partner and your intimate relationship – feelings that change month to month, year to year. Try writing down those feelings along with your concerns, desires, and maybe even a fantasy. If you are having trouble with intimacy, noting the frequency of your sexual thoughts may reveal a pattern in your cycle of arousal, such as a when you are feeling most aroused, how long, and what triggers it. You can use this for your own and your partner’s benefit. Try copying a page from your journal and leaving it somewhere so your partner will find it. Reading about your thoughts and fantasies will open up a whole new form of communication.”

You can ask anyone – love isn’t easy, but with hard work and dedication (and a little help from my book) you can have the intimate life you deserve!

As the year comes to a close, I want to thank my staff and Consultants for all of their dedication and hard work in 2009. We are so blessed to have had a prosperous year at Pure Romance. Despite our success, we did endure our own personal losses including losing a long-time employee who had been with the company for five years – our hearts and thoughts go out to her family and loved ones. There have been many people in our company who, whether it was they or someone they loved, suffered an illness – yet, everyone stepped up and supported one another in those trying times.

All companies have their trials and tribulations, but one thing that is wonderful about Pure Romance is we are truly a family. No matter how much we have our ups and downs, we’re there for one another and work to lift each other up.
Perhaps my favorite part of Pure Romance is that it’s truly not just about one person. It’s about every single department from the Customer Service, Warehouse, Accounting, Marketing, PR, IT, Health Education, Business Development. It’s the whole that is greater than its parts. Everyone is working toward the greater goal of building a reputation that is as good as the company it stands for.

Many are aware of the awards we have received this year – and I think it’s so important to stress the word “we”. Even when I have been awarded directly, I know that none of this recognition would be possible without every single person that works at this company. If it was up to me, I wish I could have the entire staff and Consultant base present at every award ceremony because it is truly their award as much as it is mine.

I am truly so thankful for such a wonderful team who shares my passion, vision and drive, and look forward to providing more opportunities in the years to come. I know that with such an amazing staff we can go further than we’ve ever gone before. We wish all a wonderful holiday season and look forward to a Happy New Year!

Earlier this month, the Patty Brisben Foundation had a Board Meeting to discuss potential grants and future funding for 2010. One of the local organizations we met with requested funding for a program which focused on Pilates and Yoga as a means to improving women’s sexual health. I have to be honest; at first I thought this was completely preposterous! However, when I looked around the room at our Board (which is made up of some of the most prestigious health care providers out there) I noticed none of them seemed as surprised or confused by the idea as I was. After further discussion, I learned that studies have shown a positive and beneficial connection between these types of holistic exercise programs and increased sexual health.

Needless to say, I was immediately intrigued. Coincidentally later that evening, I was at a Holiday party and ran into a colleague and his wife who also substantiated many of the claims made earlier that day during our meeting. I had to learn more and it wasn’t long before she put me in touch with an amazing Yoga instructor and Energy Healer named, Jen.

Here was a woman who said she was always picked last in the gym, and had always experienced a general disconnect between her body, mind and spirit. Yet, through Yoga and energy work she was able to transform her personal body image and shift her relationship with herself entirely. Far from the uncoordinated child of her youth, she now has cat-like reflexes and has discovered a new sense of empowerment that has spilled over in every aspect of her life, including her intimate life with her husband.

I had dabbled with Yoga once in the past and I have to admit I felt a strange feeling of irritation and animosity come over me. After speaking with Jen, I realized that these aren’t uncommon responses. As Yoga opens your physical body old trapped emotions and energies can be released and I agreed with her that it’s better to get that out than keep it in.

So how is this related to improved intimacy and sexual health?

Some known advantages to using Yoga to improve sexuality include:

Improved sensitivity – Breathing exercises alleviate anxiety and help relieve stress factors that can often inhibit sexual activity. It also helps you become more in touch with your body’s sensations and become in tuned with how these feelings directly relate to your mind, body and spirit.

Strengthening Pelvic Floor – There is an advanced Yoga practice called the Moola Bandha which works to strengthen one’s pelvic floor muscles and sex organs (think Yoga’s equivalent to Kegel exercises!); this can help enhance orgasms as well as aid with childbirth. Many pre-natal Yoga exercises concentrate on the thigh, groin, hips and back which are important focus areas when it comes to giving birth.

Improved Fitness Level – Everyone knows when you are fit and in shape you not only feel more attractive but literally become more attractive. Yoga is a wonderful resource in toning muscles and increasing endurance, coordination, energy and agility. These are all amazing attributes to have in your arsenal when it comes to having better sex.

Increased Experimentation with Sexual Positions – Anyone who has ever picked up a book on sexual positions knows how many hundreds of options there are, but there are many which are easier to attain with a toned and flexible body. Yoga can help you achieve the confidence and fitness level needed to reach new heights of passion in the bedroom.

Stay tuned for 2010, because this year, I’m committed to bringing even more information to the forefront when it comes to ways on improving women’s sexual health. The most important thing is to not mask problems, but rather address them head on. There are so many choices when it comes to resolving sexual health issues and it’s good to be open-minded and explore all of your options before making a decision. Yoga just might be bring you the perfect balance to help you attain a healthier, sexier you!

I’ve signed up for every single Jen’s classes and if you are in the Cincinnati tri-state area, I recommend you give her Light Body Studio a try, too! To learn more, you may contact Jen Painter directly at jenni5star@hotmail.com, or by phone at 513-379-1020.

I just got back from New York this past week where I interviewed live in studio with Cosmo Radio on Sirius XM. The show was called “Get in Bed” and the hosts were Sara Benincasa and Greg Johnson. I’ve done hundreds of radio interviews over the years, but probably my favorite are those like this one where I was able to get back to the basics and answer many of their questions regarding our products and the company as a whole.

We often take for granted that questions regarding intimacy have been answered a thousand times, and what we don’t realize is there’s always someone out there who is just beginning their journey to finding their better sexual self today. How many times have we picked up a magazine and seen numerous stories covering the same topics in sex and health, yet, we are always passing along the information to friends who are in need or learning something new ourselves.

Although the interview was slotted for 15 minutes, we were having so much fun they invited me to stay the entire hour. For those of you who missed the interview, check back in our News & Events section at a later date for a potential clip!

I am always so grateful to win any award, and it truly pushes and fuels me to work that much harder to be a better Patty and create an even better Pure Romance. This week I was honored by the Cincinnati Regional Chamber, winning a We Celebrate award in the Social Entrepreneur Category. I was so incredibly moved by this recognition and more than anything was excited that this would bring more awareness to the work that needs to be done for women’s sexual health.

Below is a list of the winners and runner-ups for each category. A special congratulations to all of the amazing women who were nominated. We are so fortunate to have all of these wonderful women in Cincinnati who are making a difference in our community and beyond!

Women-owned Business of the Year: Robin Wood, Robin Wood Flowers, winner; Carla Eng, Abstract Displays Inc., runner-up;
Best New Product or Service of the Year: Kelly Kolar, Kolar Design, winner; Kimberly Taylor, Kimbers LLC, runner-up;
Social Entrepreneur of the Year: Patty Brisben, Pure Romance, winner; Peg Stookey, Legacy Connection LLC, runner-up;
Business Mentor of the Year: Icy Williams, National Sustainability Coalition, winner; Debbie Simpson, Multi-Craft, runner-up;
Marketing to Women: Best Campaign of the Year: Pink Ribbon Empowerment Program/Cris Collinsworth ProScan Fund, winner; Amy Scalia, Cincy Chic, runner-up;
Social Media Innovator of the Year: Moira Weir, Hamilton County Department of Job and Family Services, winner; Alicia Stevens, United Way of Greater Cincinnati, runner-up;
Woman of the Year-Corporate: Charlotte Otto, Procter & Gamble Co., winner; Karen Bowman, Convergys Corp., runner-up;
Woman of the Year-Entrepreneur: Kelly Mahan, Mahan Advertising Inc., winner.; Erin Schreyer, Sagestone Partners LLC, runner-up;
Woman of the Year-Nonprofit: Mary Carol Melton, Cincinnati Union Bethel, winner; Robin White, Great Oaks Career Campuses, runner-up.

The Holiday Season is usually a time that many of us pack on the pounds – especially those of us who live in colder climates that tend to keep us indoors hibernating! Instead of waiting for New Year’s resolutions to stay healthy and fit, why not start today and stay that way all year round? Want an added motivation? Studies show a direct correlation between physical activity and improved or increased sex drive!

Feeling sexy is all about finding the “healthy you” in and out of the bedroom. For me that happened months ago when I woke up one morning only to look in the mirror and realize that I was aging, looking frumpy in my clothes and just overall not feeling well. I mentioned it to my family, but they weren’t surprised to say the least. After all, I’d been working so hard on my business spending hundreds of days of the year on the road, managing Consultant trainings; I was so busy with work and day-to-day tasks that I neglected to take care of myself. It got to the point where it was hard to get out of bed in the mornings, and I wasn’t sleeping well. Every hour during the night, I’d look at the clock and wonder when I would finally be able to fall asleep!

Like many of you out there, I knew this was related to stress and that I needed to make a change. Needless to say my family “took me hostage” and next thing you know I was sitting at a local Fitness Gym. (As we all know, those who love us always have our best interest at heart.) I started working with a trainer regularly and made it a personal mission to feel better and healthier whatever the cost. Even when I’m traveling, I make sure I’m continuing my regiment and I’ve never felt better! It has truly been a life-altering change for me! I’m sleeping better, my concentration is enhanced. I have reinvented myself!

For those of you who want to get fit but aren’t sure you can afford working with a trainer, below are some great tips on how to get active on a budget:

*Invest in some Yoga or fitness DVD’s and work out at home. Nowadays many cable networks offer Exercise on Demand channels or full-blown exercise networks that are already covered in your monthly bill.

*Walk at least 45 minutes a day or choose to take the stairs over the elevator when you’re out and about.

*Keep a set of 5lb. weights in your bedroom and lift while you are watching your favorite programs.

*Don’t forget to try to maintain a healthy diet. In my book, Pure Romance Between the Sheets, I wrote a chapter on libido and included some foods that are not only bad for you but can actually hamper your sex drive in the process (page 37, Food For Thought).

*Maybe the most fun exercise of all – sex itself! A 130-lb person can burn about seven calories per five minutes of vigorous sex. Keep it up for two hours, and you’ll burn off 177 calories!

Whatever you decide, you will be amazed how revitalized you will feel and how that energy can spill over into the bedroom.