Between The Sheets

Earlier this month, the Patty Brisben Foundation had a Board Meeting to discuss potential grants and future funding for 2010. One of the local organizations we met with requested funding for a program which focused on Pilates and Yoga as a means to improving women’s sexual health. I have to be honest; at first I thought this was completely preposterous! However, when I looked around the room at our Board (which is made up of some of the most prestigious health care providers out there) I noticed none of them seemed as surprised or confused by the idea as I was. After further discussion, I learned that studies have shown a positive and beneficial connection between these types of holistic exercise programs and increased sexual health.

Needless to say, I was immediately intrigued. Coincidentally later that evening, I was at a Holiday party and ran into a colleague and his wife who also substantiated many of the claims made earlier that day during our meeting. I had to learn more and it wasn’t long before she put me in touch with an amazing Yoga instructor and Energy Healer named, Jen.

Here was a woman who said she was always picked last in the gym, and had always experienced a general disconnect between her body, mind and spirit. Yet, through Yoga and energy work she was able to transform her personal body image and shift her relationship with herself entirely. Far from the uncoordinated child of her youth, she now has cat-like reflexes and has discovered a new sense of empowerment that has spilled over in every aspect of her life, including her intimate life with her husband.

I had dabbled with Yoga once in the past and I have to admit I felt a strange feeling of irritation and animosity come over me. After speaking with Jen, I realized that these aren’t uncommon responses. As Yoga opens your physical body old trapped emotions and energies can be released and I agreed with her that it’s better to get that out than keep it in.

So how is this related to improved intimacy and sexual health?

Some known advantages to using Yoga to improve sexuality include:

Improved sensitivity – Breathing exercises alleviate anxiety and help relieve stress factors that can often inhibit sexual activity. It also helps you become more in touch with your body’s sensations and become in tuned with how these feelings directly relate to your mind, body and spirit.

Strengthening Pelvic Floor – There is an advanced Yoga practice called the Moola Bandha which works to strengthen one’s pelvic floor muscles and sex organs (think Yoga’s equivalent to Kegel exercises!); this can help enhance orgasms as well as aid with childbirth. Many pre-natal Yoga exercises concentrate on the thigh, groin, hips and back which are important focus areas when it comes to giving birth.

Improved Fitness Level – Everyone knows when you are fit and in shape you not only feel more attractive but literally become more attractive. Yoga is a wonderful resource in toning muscles and increasing endurance, coordination, energy and agility. These are all amazing attributes to have in your arsenal when it comes to having better sex.

Increased Experimentation with Sexual Positions – Anyone who has ever picked up a book on sexual positions knows how many hundreds of options there are, but there are many which are easier to attain with a toned and flexible body. Yoga can help you achieve the confidence and fitness level needed to reach new heights of passion in the bedroom.

Stay tuned for 2010, because this year, I’m committed to bringing even more information to the forefront when it comes to ways on improving women’s sexual health. The most important thing is to not mask problems, but rather address them head on. There are so many choices when it comes to resolving sexual health issues and it’s good to be open-minded and explore all of your options before making a decision. Yoga just might be bring you the perfect balance to help you attain a healthier, sexier you!

I’ve signed up for every single Jen’s classes and if you are in the Cincinnati tri-state area, I recommend you give her Light Body Studio a try, too! To learn more, you may contact Jen Painter directly at jenni5star@hotmail.com, or by phone at 513-379-1020.

I just got back from New York this past week where I interviewed live in studio with Cosmo Radio on Sirius XM. The show was called “Get in Bed” and the hosts were Sara Benincasa and Greg Johnson. I’ve done hundreds of radio interviews over the years, but probably my favorite are those like this one where I was able to get back to the basics and answer many of their questions regarding our products and the company as a whole.

We often take for granted that questions regarding intimacy have been answered a thousand times, and what we don’t realize is there’s always someone out there who is just beginning their journey to finding their better sexual self today. How many times have we picked up a magazine and seen numerous stories covering the same topics in sex and health, yet, we are always passing along the information to friends who are in need or learning something new ourselves.

Although the interview was slotted for 15 minutes, we were having so much fun they invited me to stay the entire hour. For those of you who missed the interview, check back in our News & Events section at a later date for a potential clip!

I am always so grateful to win any award, and it truly pushes and fuels me to work that much harder to be a better Patty and create an even better Pure Romance. This week I was honored by the Cincinnati Regional Chamber, winning a We Celebrate award in the Social Entrepreneur Category. I was so incredibly moved by this recognition and more than anything was excited that this would bring more awareness to the work that needs to be done for women’s sexual health.

Below is a list of the winners and runner-ups for each category. A special congratulations to all of the amazing women who were nominated. We are so fortunate to have all of these wonderful women in Cincinnati who are making a difference in our community and beyond!

Women-owned Business of the Year: Robin Wood, Robin Wood Flowers, winner; Carla Eng, Abstract Displays Inc., runner-up;
Best New Product or Service of the Year: Kelly Kolar, Kolar Design, winner; Kimberly Taylor, Kimbers LLC, runner-up;
Social Entrepreneur of the Year: Patty Brisben, Pure Romance, winner; Peg Stookey, Legacy Connection LLC, runner-up;
Business Mentor of the Year: Icy Williams, National Sustainability Coalition, winner; Debbie Simpson, Multi-Craft, runner-up;
Marketing to Women: Best Campaign of the Year: Pink Ribbon Empowerment Program/Cris Collinsworth ProScan Fund, winner; Amy Scalia, Cincy Chic, runner-up;
Social Media Innovator of the Year: Moira Weir, Hamilton County Department of Job and Family Services, winner; Alicia Stevens, United Way of Greater Cincinnati, runner-up;
Woman of the Year-Corporate: Charlotte Otto, Procter & Gamble Co., winner; Karen Bowman, Convergys Corp., runner-up;
Woman of the Year-Entrepreneur: Kelly Mahan, Mahan Advertising Inc., winner.; Erin Schreyer, Sagestone Partners LLC, runner-up;
Woman of the Year-Nonprofit: Mary Carol Melton, Cincinnati Union Bethel, winner; Robin White, Great Oaks Career Campuses, runner-up.

The Holiday Season is usually a time that many of us pack on the pounds – especially those of us who live in colder climates that tend to keep us indoors hibernating! Instead of waiting for New Year’s resolutions to stay healthy and fit, why not start today and stay that way all year round? Want an added motivation? Studies show a direct correlation between physical activity and improved or increased sex drive!

Feeling sexy is all about finding the “healthy you” in and out of the bedroom. For me that happened months ago when I woke up one morning only to look in the mirror and realize that I was aging, looking frumpy in my clothes and just overall not feeling well. I mentioned it to my family, but they weren’t surprised to say the least. After all, I’d been working so hard on my business spending hundreds of days of the year on the road, managing Consultant trainings; I was so busy with work and day-to-day tasks that I neglected to take care of myself. It got to the point where it was hard to get out of bed in the mornings, and I wasn’t sleeping well. Every hour during the night, I’d look at the clock and wonder when I would finally be able to fall asleep!

Like many of you out there, I knew this was related to stress and that I needed to make a change. Needless to say my family “took me hostage” and next thing you know I was sitting at a local Fitness Gym. (As we all know, those who love us always have our best interest at heart.) I started working with a trainer regularly and made it a personal mission to feel better and healthier whatever the cost. Even when I’m traveling, I make sure I’m continuing my regiment and I’ve never felt better! It has truly been a life-altering change for me! I’m sleeping better, my concentration is enhanced. I have reinvented myself!

For those of you who want to get fit but aren’t sure you can afford working with a trainer, below are some great tips on how to get active on a budget:

*Invest in some Yoga or fitness DVD’s and work out at home. Nowadays many cable networks offer Exercise on Demand channels or full-blown exercise networks that are already covered in your monthly bill.

*Walk at least 45 minutes a day or choose to take the stairs over the elevator when you’re out and about.

*Keep a set of 5lb. weights in your bedroom and lift while you are watching your favorite programs.

*Don’t forget to try to maintain a healthy diet. In my book, Pure Romance Between the Sheets, I wrote a chapter on libido and included some foods that are not only bad for you but can actually hamper your sex drive in the process (page 37, Food For Thought).

*Maybe the most fun exercise of all – sex itself! A 130-lb person can burn about seven calories per five minutes of vigorous sex. Keep it up for two hours, and you’ll burn off 177 calories!

Whatever you decide, you will be amazed how revitalized you will feel and how that energy can spill over into the bedroom.

I am so excited to announce that our recent fundraiser was a huge success, raising $70,000 to support women’s sexual health! For those of you who weren’t able to make it out this year, we did an “Evening in Monte Carlo” theme that included dinner, dancing and casino-style gaming. Guests were encouraged to wear 20’s Gatsby attire and participate in a live auction and balloon blast to raise money for this important cause.

One of my favorite parts of the evening was presenting our 2nd Annual Award of Excellence in Women’s Sexual Health. It is so important to recognize those who are currently making a difference in the field of women’s sexual health and this year’s recipient, Dr. Margery Gass, has made amazing strides in the field of menopause. She is an internationally recognized leader in this category and the Executive Director Designate of the North American Menopause Society (NAMS). She is also a foremost authority in women’s sexual health, speaking at conferences all over the world. We couldn’t think of a more deserving recipient than Dr. Gass.

In addition, Dr. Michael Thomas, an OBGYN and Professor at the UC School of Medicine, and one of the Patty Brisben Foundation board members, spoke to the guests about some of the studies that are currently in place as a result of the foundation’s funding. Rick Bryan from the Wellness Community was also on hand to talk about the partnership we have forged to help further support people living with cancer and their family and loved ones.

Overall, it couldn’t have been possible without the hard work and dedication of everyone involved. We look forward to making next year’s event even bigger and better and thank those who continue to support women’s sexual health. We hope to see many new faces in 2010!

Last year, Pure Romance carried a CD that included some of the sexiest and romantic songs you could swing your hips to; it’s no secret that music can have an incredibly powerful effect on its listeners.

This is especially true when it comes to helping you feel better when going through a difficult time or enduring the end of a relationship. Powerful lyrics and melodies can uplift you and give you the strength to pick yourself up and move on. That’s why we thought it would be fun to poll some of our corporate staff to find out what would they thought were the top 20 most empowering, feel-good, or “get-over-a-break-up” songs!

Already Gone – Kelly Clarkson
I will survive – Gloria Gaynor
Before He Cheats – Carrie Underwood
Looking for a New Love – Jodie Watley
Cry Me a River – Justin Timberlake
What Goes Around Comes Around - Justin Timberlake
Speed - Montgomery Gentry
Over You – Daugherty
You Oughta Know – Alanis Morrisette
Landslide – Dixie Chicks
You’ll See – Madonna
Since You’ve Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson

Single Ladies – Beyonce
Already Gone – Eagles
I Hate Everything About You – Ugly Kid Joe
Best Days of Your Life – Kelly Pickler
So What – Pink
Who’s Got Your Money – Tina Parol
Faith – George Michael
Last Goodbye – Jeff Buckley

When was the last time someone told you to hydrate your vagina? Don’t worry about reaching for your reading glasses. You read it right. I would venture to guess it wasn’t any time very recent (if at all!). The truth is no one ever talks to us about it.

Think about it: every woman out there at some time or another has had someone remind them of the importance of taking care of their skin. After all, how many of us have been walking in the mall when someone at a kiosk shouts out, “What moisturizers do you use on your face?” or “Do you want to know how to look 10 years younger?” Not surprising questions considering that many women do use special facial creams and regiments to ensure that their skin is hydrated and in good health. Yet, what people don’t realize is that every part of your party ages and goes through different types of changes and stress. Why should your vagina be any different?

Have you ever lied in bed one night while being intimate with a partner and felt like your mind was there but your body was not? What people don’t realize is that there are so many causes for vaginal dryness including childbirth, menopause, medications, etc. – common occurrences in everyday life. It’s so important not to confuse lubricants with vaginal moisturizers as a way to treat this.

Pure Romance’s Fresh Start is a wonderful product that can help counteract vaginal dryness. It is an estrogen-free vaginal moisturizer, making it great for all women, including those women who cannot or do not want to use hormone replacements. It is gentle and non-irritating and helps alleviate vaginal dryness, as well as the discomfort that accompanies this condition.

It is common for women of all ages to experience vaginal dryness at some point in their life, or even within their menstrual cycle. Vaginal dryness is most common among women going through menopause, due to the decrease in estrogen that occurs at this time. Estimates vary, but as many 40% of menopausal women may experience vaginal dryness.

To use Fresh Start, fill one of the included applicators with the vaginal moisturizer and insert into the vagina, applying the liquid as far into the vaginal canal as possible. The best time to use Fresh Start is before bedtime, allowing the product ample time to absorb into the vaginal tissues. Many women find it helpful to use the product everyday for a week to 10 days, until the start to see their symptoms decrease. After that time, women can use the product two to three times a week as part of a maintenance program, to keep their vaginal tissues moisturized and prevent vaginal dryness.

So next time a girlfriend asks you what you’ve done lately to take care of your face or skin, maybe you should ask them what they’ve done to hydrate their vagina! You may get a surprised look, but you’ll be doing your part to educate someone on this very important issue!

I recently interviewed with Dayton News regarding my thoughts on a new book called “Why Women Have Sex.” The book was written by clinical psychologist, Cindy Meston and evolutionary psychologist, David Buss, and includes interviews of over 1,000 women from all over the world. In doing so, they discovered 237 different reasons that women have sex. Surprisingly to some, love was not at the top of the list.

There’s always been a double standard when it comes to sexual motivation for women vs. men; however, in the 25 years I’ve been working with women and couples, I’ve found that one of the biggest intimacy issues that we come across with our customers is libido. Women aren’t the only ones who are tired from the stress and anxiety that has come from living in such a fast-paced society. I can’t tell you how many women have written in to my Ask Patty column asking how they can get their husbands and boyfriends more in the mood.

Sexual motivation can vary from person to person and the most important thing is that partners are being honest with one another about their desires and needs. In the video above, there were some responses such as “I do it so I can go to sleep or he will leave me alone.” Treating sex in this way is truly doing an injustice to you and your partner. Sexuality should be enjoyed and is an integral part of life; men and women should make an effort to create more pleasure when it comes to their intimate experience, whether by exploring new avenues of intimacy or opening the doors of communication through “intimate” tools and education.

If you find that you’re one of these women who is using sex for anything other than a way to express love and pleasure, it may be time to learn more about how you can take your intimate relationships to the next level.

I’m so excited to share that I was awarded the Key to Loveland today I can’t tell you what an honor it was to have the city in which Pure Romance is headquartered embrace, understand and appreciate the work we are doing to support and empower women and couples everywhere.

To my surprise, the Loveland City Manager and Loveland Area Chamber informed me that this award has only been presented to one other person in the last eight years. I truly thought I was invited to speak and share the Pure Romance story as part of a luncheon preceding a Loveland Expo at Receptions and was unexpectedly honored following my presentation.

I can’t tell you how many times in our travels and in interviews people have been so tickled by the fact that Pure Romance’s headquarters reside in “LOVE-LAND”. They honestly believe the city was named after Pure Romance or vice versa. It’s truly a perfect fit and we couldn’t ask for a better place to hang our corporate hat.

What an amazing day!

One of my favorite local events is the Breast Cancer Brick Auction which just took place this past weekend. The fundraiser features brick-art which is auctioned to benefit breast cancer research, advocacy and patient support in Greater Cincinnati.

‘Bricks Along the Journey’ was begun by Ellen Bernstein Ganson, who, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, channeled her frustration into creating an event that would benefit breast cancer patients and breast cancer research. Local artists were excited to contribute to the cause and today there are over 200 artists who contribute their time and talent to transform crumbled and castaway bricks into beautiful works of art.

Here is the brick that I auctioned on and won called “Waiting”.

Below are some additional pieces. To learn more or see past collections go to www.breastcancerbricks.org.