Giving Change a Chance January 17, 2012
Posted by Patty Brisben in Uncategorized.Tags: change, empowerment, New Year's Resolutions
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This month, I’m taking on the challenges that come with New Year’s Resolutions in order to figure out exactly how one can make sure she makes good on her promises, goals, and resolutions. Read my past posts and weigh in!
Change. It’s a funny thing that humans both crave and resist. By nature we’re restless, indecisive people. We’re tired of the car we have now, but seek a new car that has the same features as the old. When you search for a new pair of boots for winter, you want something fresh, but don’t want to stray too far from the boots you had last year (or is that just me?).
January for me is proof that we are all resisting change. Change that forces us to come out of our comfort zone and step into the unknown. Often, when we’re trying to change something about ourselves, we find it incredibly hard. Maybe the change itself isn’t as hard as the challenge to commit to ridding ourselves of what the old version of the habit was like and how comfortable it feels. It’s easier for us to return to what we know so quickly that we barely give change a chance.
Take exercising, for example. Let’s say that your revamped routine—your 2011 routine simply consisted of the elliptical and maybe a fitness class here and there. For 2012 you add in pilates, weights, and spinning. As you go about your new routine, challenges arise: you test your limits and take chances. After a week or so of the new routine, you say, “Forget this. I like what I know. It’s fine.” It wasn’t necessarily the new routine; it’s the fact that you are unwilling to take on the challenge and push yourself. And this is ultimately what gets in the way of your success.
Maybe what it comes down to is that Americans are too much a culture of ease. We like things to be fast, easy, and simple. That’s why there’s a Starbucks on every street corner and we live on meals that are ready-made in five minutes or less. We have a reputation for wanting the greatest output with as little input as possible. It’s easier to drive up to a window and buy a meal than it is to rearrange our schedules to buy the groceries, to chop vegetables, and then cook the meal.
On the other hand, we’re also a society of classic overachievers, striving to do so much in every aspect of our lives that personal goals take last priority. We want to be the best at our jobs, to fulfill our kids’ every need, to be a perfect wife, to be the most understanding employee, to be beautiful, skinny, smart— I could go on and on. Our culture is driven by a false sense of security surrounding success, and the easiest success to measure is the sort that can be seen and therefore noted by others. We thrive on recognition and knowing that we’ve worked as hard as possible. But by stretching ourselves beyond the limit, we shelve our personal goals.
Now let’s practice last week’s self-compassion lesson. Be kind to yourself! Celebrate every small achievement. Put your personal goals first. And finally, know you will get through a change. Remind yourself to embrace change. At first this might feel weird, but it will get easier and you will be happier in the months to come.
Mental, physical, financial—whatever your goals are, working through the un-comfortableness will be worth it. Be patient, be kind, and welcome the change. You are worth it!
The Key Is Compassion January 9, 2012
Posted by Patty Brisben in Uncategorized.Tags: compassion, Patty Brisben, resolutions, self-love
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As we strive to achieve our goals this month (and hopefully throughout the new year!), it’s easy to become overwhelmed with wanting to do so much in so little time. By the end of January, we have plans of grandeur that we hope we’ve accomplished. One thing we must remember is that goals aren’t always cut and dry. Sometimes goals are just like humans: a constant work in progress.
What’s common for women to do when they set up their resolutions is that they feel guilty when they’ve slipped up. You’re probably familiar with how this goes. “Well, I already ruined my diet with those fries at lunch. Screw the rest of the day. I’ll restart my diet tomorrow. I am a failure!” Dramatic? Sure. But it’s probably not that far off from what’s happened in your own life. We slip up and then we berate ourselves. For some reason, this is just what women have a tendency to do. One slip-up and we call ourselves worthless failures with no talent or qualities to be proud of.
What separates people who achieve their goals from people who don’t might be how kind one is to herself. New research suggests that people who are more compassionate toward themselves are more likely to be happy and less likely to be depressed. After falling off the wagon, a self-compassionate person tells herself, “Whoops! I made a mistake! It happens. Oh well, let’s start over right now.” A person who is not compassionate with herself thinks, “Ugh! I am terrible. Why am I even trying to be healthy? I should just quit.” Now, which attitude do you think will get you somewhere? Exactly!
We’ve already taken care of the details of our resolutions and goals. What you need to do now is tend to the emotional side of your goals. Be mindful of not just the emotions that made you create your goals, but the emotions that accompany your actions when trying to achieve them. Pat yourself on the back when you’ve smoked one less cigarette, volunteered an hour at a food bank, or made it to the gym more than once a week. Don’t fall into a uncompassionate mindset that says you didn’t do well enough, that you should have smoked less, you should have spent every afternoon volunteering, or you should have made it to the gym every day. One small success leads to a multitude of greater successes down the line, so don’t waste your time feeling bad about a slip-up or the feeling that you haven’t done enough. Compliment yourself instead!
I believe that being kinder to yourself might make you more likely to achieve what you want. At the same time, though, it’s important not to confuse being kind to yourself with lowering your expectations or standards. Just because you’re cutting yourself some emotional slack doesn’t mean you should start to think you can’t achieve something and nix your goals altogether. Your standards for yourself can absolutely be high, and you can still manage to be nice to yourself when things don’t go according to plan.
What all this goal making and self-compassion comes down to is this: When you care about yourself, you care about choices. When you treat yourself well, you make choices that affect you in a positive manner. Keep this in mind as you continue to make progress on your New Year’s Resolutions. You are your own worst enemy, just as you are your own solution.
New Year’s Resolutions: Making Them Happen! January 5, 2012
Posted by Patty Brisben in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
Happy New Year! We’re finally back—by now I hope you’re back to work and off to a great start. Welcome to the year of the Dragon! A sign of success and happiness, the Dragon year already promises great things ahead, and you’re probably already promising yourself a success-filled year ahead, too.
On January 1, Americans tend to be the most optimistic about the year to come. We all set plans of greatness for the next year. Everything goes perfectly at first. We exercise regularly, we eat more vegetables than usual, and we haven’t touched alcohol in days. We zoom along this path for maybe a few weeks before the inevitable happens: the rest of our lives get in the way and we forget our grand goals.
Below, from TIME, are the top 10 commonly broken New Year’s resolutions:
1) Lose weight and get fit.
2) Quit smoking.
3) Learn something new.
4) Eat healthier and diet.
5) Get out of debt and save money.
6) Spend more time with family.
7) Travel to new places.
8) Be less stressed.
9) Volunteer.
10) Drink less.
Aren’t you tired of never resolving your resolutions? I know I am. Instead of dwelling on failure, though, it’s important to acknowledge what’s going wrong here.
One aspect of goal making that sets people back is that they tend to set themselves up for failure. A lot of times, goals aren’t specific enough. Take the first from the list, for example. “Lose weight and get fit.” OK, great! But how much weight do you want to lose? And what’s your plan to lose that weight? We know the “what” but we don’t know the “how’s”. What happens is that people have an idea but they don’t have a plan. When it comes to resolutions, whether you achieve them is in the details.
Here’s how I aim to make my resolutions happen in 2012: by being specific. This means writing out my goals as such:
Resolution: At the end of each day, I want to be thankful for something.
Why I want this: To help me see all the blessings in my life, even in the events that don’t go the way I planned. There’s always something to be learned.
How I’m going to make it happen: Keep a calendar in which I write down every night what I’m thankful for on that day.
Deadline: Ongoing. No deadline. Just write at least one thing I’m thankful for every single day.
By detailing my goals, I’ve given myself directions on how I can really make this happen. Instead of aiming for a general goal, I’ve made it very specified. This helps me see my goal more clearly, and also helps me see how attainable it truly is. I’m seeing the how’s and why’s of my goals instead of the hopeful end result.
In 2012, I’m making a commitment to myself to stick with my top goal. It can be something small or something huge; it can be giving up something or adding something to your routine. Whatever your resolution is, my wish for you is that it enriches your life. And whatever it is, commit yourself to it. Figure out your what’s, why’s, and how’s, and you’ll be set. Here’s to an incredible new year!
A Very Special New Year’s Eve December 30, 2011
Posted by Patty Brisben in Uncategorized.Tags: Lauren, New Year's Eve, Patty Brisben, wedding
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Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup!
and surely I’ll buy mine!
And we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
Instead of singing the traditional song “Auld Lang Syne”, which translates to “old long since” or “days gone by,” my family and I will be celebrating of the end of one chapter and the beginning of another in a different way.
Every year, we kiss the past goodbye and dive into the future. New Year’s Eve is like a marriage to the New Year. We fully dedicate ourselves to it and trust it with everything we have. On this New Year’s Eve, my daughter will be leaving not only entering a new year and starting a new era. She is parting from one family to join her husband in founding their own. Lauren and her soon-to-be husband Andy will start their life together in marriage as soon as 2011 ticks over to 2012.
I’ve always loved New Year’s Eve because it’s starting anew. Ahead of you is a blank canvas that you can turn into anything you want. For those, like my daughter, preparing to wed in 2012, you have to consider what being a wife means today and what marriage brings to the forefront. One of the things you’ll learn is that what you put into your marriage is what you get out of it—and marriage is hard work!
Over the years I’ve heard it all, but more commonly nowadays I’ve been able to find a common theme. Women young and old, engaged or married, are struggling to find the definition of what it truly means to be a wife and how to be a wife without losing yourself.
Biblically, the bonds of marriage are to supersede everything else, for better or worse – in sickness and in health. But do those vowels really overcome lack of desire, boredom, unhappiness: the power of marriage is supposed to remind the couple if their commitment to overcome any issue that comes their way. However, Culturally, we are still figuring out who should play what role; can the woman be the breadwinner?; can the man be the stay-at-home dad? The answer is Yes, if that works for you and your spouse.
Millions of women have felt the pressure of needing to give up her own dreams, hopes, and life in order to fulfill her husband’s wishes or to fill the role she thinks he wants her to fill. It’s natural to be nervous about stepping into new roles. But know that you don’t have to give up anything; you just have to rearrange. Self vs. Wife and Mother vs. businesswoman—it’s all possible. You just have to figure out how to make each situation and dream work for you. No one can define your marriage or relationship for you but you. And by the way starting anew does not mean forgetting the rest of your roles.
Unfortunately, our society is not this way. We live in a world of consumerism. In America and a large majority of the world, when something is broken, we toss it aside for something new. With marriage, a couple has to work through the sometimes difficult and ugly circumstances that occur instead of merely escape them. Again, what you put into your relationship is what you will get out of it. That said, over the past three decades I’ve been blessed to recognize that people have want to believe in love, marriage and the power of the relationship – and the hope that they are willing to do what it takes to communicate, spice it up or start anew.
My New Years wish is that each of you recognize that as humans, with the power of choice it can be hard deciding what idea to support. But it’s time to recognize what the majority of couples fail to realize: that marriage and your definition of it, as well as your role within it, is entirely up to you and your partner. You can define it however you want. It doesn’t matter what your best friend’s or parents’ marriage has been like; the inner workings of every couple is and should be different. There is no right or wrong. At the end of the day, you have to know that you’ve both contributed to your relationship and to making it work.
And truly take into account that we ALL (including you) have our faults. Our partners do, too. Sometimes, because of our egos, we can’t set the past aside and we let our past errors affect our future. Until we choose to work through our feelings of the past or we choose to leave the past behind, we can’t get beyond the negativity. You have to stop and forgive yourself as you go. Be kind to yourself and realize that what’ you’ve gone through happened in order to confirm what you do or don’t want to do in your future. Forgive as you go along, and be sure to forgive your partner, too. The hardest thing for couples to do is to give and treat each other with grace. This is something to strive for in all your relationships: the one with your partner, your family, your friends, and most importantly, yourself.
Whether you’re single, engaged, on your way to the altar, or wed, the New Year offers everyone an opportunity to refresh their relationships (even your relationship with yourself). Treat the New Year as a new chapter in your relationship. Evaluate what your relationship is like now, what you love about it, what you’d like to change about it, and how you can make your relationship even better.
Give grace where you would want it given to you.
It’s never too late to make things better. It’s never too late to start working on your own dreams again. And it’s never too late to find true, respectful, lasting love.
Best of YOU List! December 27, 2011
Posted by Patty Brisben in Uncategorized.Tags: 2011, 2012, best of lists, Patty Brisben
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Allure magazine prints its Best of Beauty list every year, honoring awesome products and salons around the U.S. The Grammy awards acknowledge the best artists, albums, and performances of the year. The Oscars honor stand-out actors, films, and musical scores. Every city, publication, and industry honors its best qualities and moments of the year. But do you acknowledge your own best qualities and moments of the year? Now is the time!
Fill out the below list about yourself to see how you’ve done in 2011!
-My favorite moment of the year was __________________________________________________
-I deserve the _________________ award this year because ________________________________
-My most stylish moment was _______________________________________________________
-The greatest personal success for 2011 was ______________________________________________
-I’m most proud of myself for ____________________________________________________this year
-I never thought I’d do it, but in 2011 I __________________________________________________
-I had the best time with my friends when we _____________________________________________
-I had the best time with my family when we ______________________________________________
-I had the best time with my significant other when we _______________________________________
-I felt sexiest when _______________________________________________________________
-My healthiest choice of 2011 was _____________________________________________________
-My happiest memory of 2011 is ______________________________________________________
-The biggest learning experience of 2011 was _____________________________________________
Now that you’ve reflected on your 2011, think about how you filled in the blanks. How did you feel while you were filling this out? Probably happy, I hope! Think about these moments you wrote about: What’s the take-away? What can you learn from those experiences to make 2012 even better? Focusing on the good you created in 2011 will help you create a surplus of favorite moments in 2012! Remember the effort, energy, and attitude that went into creating your bests and figure out how to emulate that time and time again. Let’s make 2012 the best year yet!
Christmas: Live in the Moment December 19, 2011
Posted by Patty Brisben in Uncategorized.Tags: celebrate, holidays, patty birsben
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Amidst all the parties, shopping trips, and planning this holiday season, remember what this is really about: celebration. No matter what holiday you celebrate, whether it’s Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Bodhi Day, and beyond, this is a time to enjoy yourself, your family, your friends, and the time that you have together. A holiday is not about the past, and it’s not about the future. The day of Christmas, for me, is about right now and treasuring the moment. On Christmas Day, or whatever holiday you celebrate, live inside the moment.
This means letting your worries drop. Take a good look at the people around you; notice the love and warmth in the room. Admire the smiles of your children and grandchildren. This is what the holidays are really about. Living inside the moment means being thankful and grateful for the life that has brought you to this day, but prizing the 24 hours within the holiday like a precious jewel.
Sharing laughter, joy, dinner, and the day together is what it’s all about. Becoming overwhelmed by stress is not the intention of the holiday, so no matter how much you want to let yourself feel stressed by all you have to, don’t. You have the choice to feel stressed just as much as you have the choice to feel joyful and thankful on such a precious holiday. All year, we look forward to this time. Spend that time wisely, and take full advantage of those hours with your loved ones.
Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” My holiday interpretation of that quote is that people won’t remember the wrapping paper on a present, and they may not remember the present itself. But what they will remember is how they felt on that day, and YOU will remember how the people around you made you feel. The way to create lasting memories from a holiday is simple: be in a good mood. And you can get there by not letting yourself stress out and focusing on all the good that surrounds you—namely, your family.
View the holiday season as it’s truly meant to be: a time to rejoice, a time to celebrate, and a time to share the joy and love with those closest to you. I wish you a very happy holiday season.
Be a Great Holiday Guest! December 12, 2011
Posted by Patty Brisben in Uncategorized.Tags: Five Love Languages, guest, holidays
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We are in the throes of the busiest season of the year. While we get stuck in the mindset of how busy we are, we have to keep in mind that everyone is feeling the pressure. When it’s your turn to relax and enjoy the party, not run the show, keep the hostess of the party in mind. She’s probably worried about having enough wine, hoping everyone gets along, and concerned about everything else but herself.
If you’ve ever hosted a party before, you know how stressful they can be. What did you wish for as the hostess? As you’re attending parties this year, keep the hostess and other guests in mind.
Here’s how you can be a great holiday guest!
-Be classy and fabulous: Coco Chanel said it best: “A woman should be two things: classy and fabulous.” In a party environment, remember to arrive in a good mood, be sociable, and always be polite. Even if you’re best friends with the hostess, she wants to leave all her guests with a good impression. You can start with returning an RSVP as soon as possible—a hostess needs to know the number of total people who are attending and plan accordingly. Keeping your alcohol intake to a minimum and leaving any lewd or crass humor and behavior at home will leave the hostess at ease. Your reputation will be in check, too!
-Bring a hostess gift: You should never show up to a party empty handed. Depending on your relationship with the hostess and how formal the party is, you’ll be able to judge what kind of gift you should bring. A bottle of wine, a nice dessert, a certificate for a post-party spa treatment, or cocktail glasses are all great, thoughtful options. You want to ensure the hostess knows that you’re thankful and that you’re thinking of her.
-Thank the hostess in her love language: People speak in five love languages. People are receptive to Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, or a combination of any of those languages. Be sure to thank the hostess in her love language. For example:
-If she responds to Words of Affirmation: Tell her, “Thank you so much for putting on this beautiful gathering. You are an excellent hostess and made this a really enjoyable night!”
-If she responds to Quality Time: Talk to her when she has a moment alone to thank her and compliment her. Be sure there are no distractions around and that you give her your undivided attention.
-If she responds to Receiving Gifts: Aside from a hostess gift, offer to take her out to dinner or treat her to a girls’ night. Thanking her with a night in which she gets to relax and have fun will be rewarding to her.
-If she responds to Acts of Service: Stay later than the rest of the guests to help her clean up or wash dishes, or call her before the party to see if there are any last-minute items you could pick up for her. Relieving her of anything that might be a burden will speak volumes.
-If she responds to Physical Touch: Hug her as you thank her for the party, or gently pat her forearm while giving her a compliment.
-Don’t be tardy for the party: Being punctual is respectable; being late is not. Remove the “fashionably late” excuse from your vocabulary! Respect the times explained on the invitation so as to relieve extra stress, worry, or uncomfortable situations. It would be upsetting if you were the one hosting a dinner party, for example, and someone walks in while everyone is on their main courses.
-Mix and mingle: It’s easy to talk to only the people you know, but try to be as much of a social butterfly as possible. Float around the room and be open to conversation with anyone. Introduce yourself to people you haven’t yet met. Be receptive to people who approach you and be conversational. Keep conversation lively and interesting; people attend parties to have fun!
With these tips, you’re sure to be the life of the party and the dream guest!
Are YOU on Your To-Do List? December 5, 2011
Posted by Patty Brisben in Uncategorized.Tags: holidays, Patty Brisben, stress
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December—a time that should be dedicated solely to family, friends, and enjoying life—is when life gets even more hectic for me, and probably for you, too. For me, it means wrapping up this year’s business, searching for the perfect gifts for my children and grandkids, celebrating numerous birthdays, attending countless holiday parties, planning a Christmas celebration for my whole family, and prepping for my daughter’s New Year’s Eve wedding (and the list could go on). All this magically fits within the time span of four short weeks.
My to-do list is never ending, yet there is one important to-do I have to remember to add: me. In the month of December, perhaps more importantly than ever, I need to remember to make time for myself. This past year has been a whirlwind. With the expansion of Pure Romance in South Africa and Australia, the launch of the e-book I co-wrote, working to raise funds and awareness through the Patty Brisben Foundation for Women’s Sexual Health, and always improving the Pure Romance product line and business, I have been so busy I’ve lost touch with myself a little bit.
When you have your business, family, and demands of life on your to-do list, it’s more than easy to nix “me” time from the mix. “Why do I deserve time to myself when there’s so much that needs to be done?” you might think. Well, think again.
There is a quote that is everywhere right now. It says, “Keep calm and carry on.” Ninenty-nine percent of the time, women do just that. We feel stress, but we suppress it and carry on until the tasks at hand are complete, or the other people in our lives are happy. This month, I challenge you to stop and take a minute to yourself instead of powering through. Stop, breathe, read a magazine, take yourself out to dinner, get a pedicure—whatever it is that you want to do, do it. And then carry on with your tasks. There is only one you, and people understand that.
It’s also important to remember that not everything needs to be done. It’s not the end of the world if something waits an hour. Do not see this as giving up. Instead, think of it as giving yourself a mental break. Stress bodes well for no one. It can negatively affect everything from your sex drive to your sleep—and we all know what stress can do to one’s mood. If for no other reason, put yourself on your to-do list so you stay relaxed (as relaxed as possible, that is), happy, and healthy during this holiday season.
Give yourself the biggest gift of all: Make yourself a priority. You’re likely to have everyone and everything else on your to-do list before carving out time for yourself. It’s time to change that. Those closest to me know I have an impossible time slowing down, relaxing, and doing things for me. But this December, I’m making the impossible possible. I’m making myself a priority in the midst of chaos, and because of this, I’ll be able to enjoy my own company as well as my family and friends even more. Having a happy holiday season means making yourself happy, too.
Giving Thanks…to Yourself! November 30, 2011
Posted by Patty Brisben in Uncategorized.Tags: Patty Brisben, self-love, thankful
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In the U.S., we spend the whole month of November giving thanks to everyone else. Now it’s time to turn the focus to yourself. For some reason, thinking or talking about one’s self for an extended period of time can make one feel uncomfortable or wasteful. Why spend so much time on one’s self? If you aren’t thankful and in love with yourself, how can you expect others to be thankful and be in love with you? I say you should treat others how you’d like to be treated, and treat yourself how you’d like to be treated, too! Use December to work on YOU!
This month, give thanks to yourself. Here’s how you can do it:
1. Suspend judgment of yourself. Let go of negative self-talk. Stop thinking of the things you don’t like, the mistakes, or the body that you think isn’t perfect. It’s going to take practice and effort, but stop those thoughts in their tracks—they are no longer allowed.
2. Name all the things about yourself that you’re thankful for. This may feel awkward or arrogant at first—you’re probably not used to focusing so much on you. But the more you allow yourself to see the wonderful things about you, the more wonderful things there will be (and the longer your list will grow!). When creating your list, try to flip any negative thoughts you once had. Your list might sound something like this:
-I am thankful for my inner strength.
-I am thankful for opportunities to grow.
-I am thankful for a body that carries me through anything.
-I am thankful for learning to become more forgiving.
-I am thankful for my good hair days.
-I am thankful for being an excellent mom.
-I am thankful for always being a good friend.
-I am thankful for my integrity.
3. Reflect on your list. Read through your list several times over. Let it sink in. Think about why you wrote what you did and where it stems from. You really are deserving of self-recognition.
4. Put YOU on your to-do list. Putting yourself on your to-do list will benefit your mental health, your physical health, your family, and everyone around you. Making yourself a priority is thanking yourself. I’ll expand on why this is so important in my next discussion.
5. Carry your list with you at all times. Whether you memorized your list of things about yourself for which you’re thankful or you’ve written a list, always have that list with you. In times of stress, pressure, anxiety, or sadness turn to your list. Read over it. Remember what inspired you to write those things about yourself. Feel the positivity about yourself that went into the list. When you carry your list around, you’re really promoting your own self-love.
Your list will always help you remember the real you, the core of who you are, no matter the situation. I find it helpful, especially around the holidays, to be thankful for everything, including myself. Being grateful produces more things, situations, aspects, and people to be thankful for. Being thankful for you will be a huge step to creating and maintaining a happy, full life.
Urogynecology 101 November 28, 2011
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In the past few weeks, I’ve given you an overview of some of the great things the Patty Brisben Foundation for Women’s Sexual Health is passionate about. This week, I’d like to hone in on a type of doctor that can be a woman’s best friend and voice of comfort during trying times.
As minimal as training for general practitioners may be, there are certain healthcare providers that do specialize in women’s sexual health dysfunction, which are called urogynecologists. They typically specialize in Pelvic Floor Disorders, but also help in all realms of a woman’s sexual health throughout her lifespan. I decided to talk two experts in the area: Victoria Schwartz, DPT, WCS, and Mary South, M.D. and Board Member of the Patty Brisben Foundation for Women’s Sexual Health. Like a good patient, I turned to them with a list of questions to see if they could help me better understand what there is to know about pelvic floor disorders and other ailments that fall under the specialty of urogynecologists.
What does urogynecology entail?
The field of urogynecology (a subspecialty within Obstetrics and Gynecology) is dedicated to the treatment of women with pelvic floor disorders (PFDs) such as urinary or fecal incontinence and prolapse (bulging or falling) of the vagina, bladder, and/or the uterus, and pelvic discomfort.
How many women do pelvic floor disorders affect?
Victoria Schwartz: PFD affect a substantial portion of women and [likelihood to have a PFD] increases with age. Statistics vary depending on the study. Some statistics from recent studies are:
-Up to 50% of women have urinary incontinence.
-25-40% of women report urinary leakage during gynecological exams.
-There is a 16% lifetime risk of developing chronic pelvic pain.
-The prevalence of having at least one pelvic floor disorder is 23.7%.
-The lifetime risk of undergoing surgery for pelvic organ prolapse is 11.1%
-There are more than 500,000 surgical procedures performed annually for urinary incontinence and prolapse.
What age range does this normally affect?
VS: PFD can affect women throughout their entire adult lifespan.
What causes PFDs? Are there any preventative measures women can take?
VS: Risk factors for developing PFD include: increasing age, pregnancy and delivery, trauma, decreases in estrogen levels, a history of hysterectomy, obesity, chronic coughing, constipation and straining, and connective tissue laxity. Pelvic floor muscles are the hammock-like muscles that support the pelvic organs, have sexual function, and help to maintain continence. Weakness and dysfunction of these muscles can lead to PFD.
Women can help to prevent conditions like bladder and bowel incontinence and pelvic organ prolapse with pelvic floor muscle exercise (commonly known as Kegels). Pelvic floor muscle training is a conservative approach to treatment and extends far beyond Kegels. It is estimated that 30% of women incorrectly perform a pelvic floor muscle contraction even after instruction. Women’s health clinical specialists in physical therapy can be helpful in training women to correctly perform pelvic floor contractions and establishing a progressive exercise program for muscle strengthening. Women’s health physical therapists take a holistic approach to solving PFD by looking at the whole body and incorporating core and postural muscle exercises into pelvic floor muscle exercise. Respiration, body mechanics, and lifestyle modifications are all included in preventing and treating PFD.
Are PFDs something women have dealt with for centuries, or is this recently becoming more and more prevalent?
VS: Cundiff et.al. (2000) states that the use of pessaries to treat pelvic organ prolapse can be traced back to antiquity. [Pessaries are typically plastic or silicone medical devices used to support the uterus, vagina, bladder, or rectum.] Women have dealt with PFD for centuries however it is under-reported because of shame and embarrassment involving the conditions. The intimate nature of the topic prevents women from discussing their symptoms openly or even confiding in their medical doctor. Many women believe that their condition is a “normal” part of aging and that they should just “live with it.”
Recently it seems more and more people are speaking out about PFD, which makes it seem like these conditions are more prevalent. Commercials are aired where women such as Whoopi Goldberg freely speak about “losing water” every time she laughs (this commercial makes me cringe because it is a commercial for pads, which means she is one of the many women who “lives with it”). Other commercials for medications, which treat conditions like overactive bladder, have increased awareness about these conditions. Recently Oprah Winfrey did a segment on “Physical Therapy for Your Lady Parts” which detailed common PFD and conservative management for these conditions, and Dr. Oz has recently discussed topics like pelvic floor anatomy and pelvic floor dysfunction. Education and scientific research are key to spreading the word about PFD. It is time for women to realize that there are treatment options available for these conditions and there are people out there who can help.
Mary South: This problem (pelvic organ prolapse and pelvic floor disorders) has been around as long as women have had pelvises (i.e. forever). Even in Egyptian times, there are reports of gold pessaries. People used to use potatoes too! What is happening now is this:
1. More doctors are becoming subspecialty trained in urogynecology, formally known as Female Pelvic Medicine and Reconstructive Surgery. The first fellowship in the United States was started in the 1980s and there are now over 30 nationwide.
2. More women are willing to talk about these issues.
3. The baby boomers are aging, and the fastest growing population in the US is in the over-80 age group. Since these disorders are more prevalent in aging women, the overall incidence is increasing.
What are some early signs a woman has a PFD? When should she see a doctor if symptoms continue?
VS: Signs of PFD include: urinary urgency, frequency, and leakage, bowel incontinence or constipation, pelvic organ bulging or a “feeling of falling out,” pelvic pain or pain with intercourse. These symptoms are not normal and a woman should report these symptoms to a doctor as soon as possible.
Is there anything else you would like to add to the conversation or discuss?
VS: A women’s health physical therapist is a physical therapist who specializes in the treatment of women throughout their lifespan. Women’s health PTs have specialized training to treat women who have urinary and fecal incontinence, retention, constipation, pelvic and low back pain, painful intercourse, women who have recently undergone gynecological surgery, women post cancer treatment, and women who are pregnant or in the post-partum period. Individualized treatments are performed following a throughout evaluation. Treatments can include pelvic floor muscle exercise, massage, myofascial release, trigger point release, biofeedback, flexibility, strengthening, core exercise, and lifestyle modifications. Urogynecologists refer patients to physical therapy as do gynecologists, colon and rectal surgeons, nurse practitioners, midwives, and primary care physicians. Most states have Direct Access, which means a patient may see a physical therapist without a referral from their doctor. Additionally, insurance covers pelvic floor therapy. To locate a women’s health physical therapist, one can visit the “PT locator” on the Section on Women’s Health website: www.womenshealthapta.org.
Victoria Schwartz, DPT, WCS has her doctorate in physical therapy from the University of Miami, Florida. She is board-certified from the American Board of Physical Therapy Specialties as a Women’s Health Clinical Specialist. The Center for Pelvic Floor and Core Rehabilitation is the leader in treating PFD in the Cincinnati area. The physical therapists see patients in offices located in Clifton and West Chester, OH. Please call 513-463-2518 or visit its website at www.pelvicfloorandcore.com. Victoria is a member of the American Physical Therapy Association and a member of the Section on Women’s Health. She is also proud to be a Pure Romance consultant who specializes in sexual health education and empowerment.
Dr. Mary South serves as adjunct assistant professor at the University of Cincinnati in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. She practices with UC Health and specializes in the areas of Urogynecology and Pelvic Reconstructive Surgery. Dr. South earned her B.A. in Chemistry from the College of Wooster, her M.D. from Case Western Reserve University, and went on to the University of North Carolina as a Resident in Obstetrics and Gynecology. Dr.South also completed a Fellowship in Urogynecology at Duke University Medical Center. She also serves as a Board Member of The Patty Brisben Foundation for Women’s Sexual Health.
*Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. With the assistance from doctors on our Board combined with research, the blog posts this month have been created.
